‘You Can Always Find Light’: The story of two friends separated by only one street and 66 years

Not long after the Assenmacher family moved to Wilmette three years ago, their son Jude, now a student at Wilmette Junior High School, struck up a perhaps unlikely but beautiful relationship with their elderly neighbors, Joseph and Leslie Hicken.

Whether baking and watching movies or singing and performing TikTok dances, their relationship blossomed into a profound friendship that moved Joe Hicken to ask Jude, 13, to speak at Leslie’s funeral after she passed away on March 30, 2025, at the age of 79, following a battle with Alzheimer’s disease.

“Leslie not only made me happy, but taught me how to be resilient,” Jude said in his funeral speech, shared with The Record, of his bond with Leslie. “Seeing her sitting in her bed, always with a smile, impacted me and showed me that even through dark times you can always find the light.”

(Jump to Jude’s eulogy)

The relationship takes root

Jude’s connection with Leslie was one he sparked and nurtured on his own, his mother, Anna Assenmacher, told The Record — a heartwarming truth that has made her and her husband deeply proud of their son.

“We started to see a caregiver (wheeling) Leslie in the neighborhood,” Anna Assenmacher said. “And I remember one day Jude was like, ‘Mom, there’s Leslie, and there’s someone pushing her. I’m gonna go out there.’ And of course, this is just Jude, he’s like, ‘I’m gonna go out there and say hello.’”

At the time, Jude did not know that Leslie had Alzheimer’s disease; though he would learn about it shortly thereafter. He was simply compelled to be with her and, he said, see her smile.

On the other end of the coin, Joe Hicken, recalled another occurrence that marked the beginnings of the relationship:

“One day, Jude just knocks on the door and says, ‘I want to see Leslie,’” Joe said. “He had a couple of friends with him, and they came in and they just visited and talked. … And that went on for a bit of time while she was still able to be up and at a table and so on. These kids were just amazing.”

A few times a week, sometimes by himself and often with friends, Jude would visit the couple’s home. He and his friends, along with Leslie’s caregiver, baked for Leslie; they sang songs and performed TikTok dances for her; and they’d play ping pong, air hockey and the juke box in the Hickens’ very kid-friendly space. (The couple has 17 grandsons and 17 granddaughters along with six great-grandchildren.)

Leslie and Jude’s relationship — like a friendship and more than a friendship all at once, with Jude describing Leslie in the eulogy as like “my own grandmother” — only continued to deepen as Leslie’s Alzheimer’s worsened.

“When things progressed to when there was no communication other than holding her hand out to (the kids) and smiling, they’d hold it and they’d talk and they’d sing, and she’d nod her head or wiggle her arms to it,” Joe said.

After Leslie was placed in hospice care at her home, Jude and his friends went to the Hickens’ home and decorated her bed with streamers, ribbons, sparkles and glitter.

“It was important because, that one day we went over, she was just sitting in her bed, and I guess we kind of were empathetic to that, and we realized, if that was us, we would want company,” Jude said of the decorating her bed and continuing the visits. “So, we really made an effort to go over there and do things that would make her happy, that would also make us happy.”

The visits filled Joe with happiness and a deep gratitude as well, he said, for Jude, his friends and people like them “who care and give of themselves to others.”

“To have care and compassion for other people is critical for our lives and for our society to have the kind of relationships and culture that are going to help to build one another,” he said. “And (the kids) had a large effect, I think on themselves, the assistant caregiver once Leslie was in these latter stages, and us.

He continued, “I look at it from the factor that it told me that this was the kind of character these young people, the upcoming generation of these children, at least, were made of, and it reflected to me on their families. I didn’t know most of these families. I appreciated for them, and I appreciated what was done by them.”

Jude’s tribute to Leslie

After Leslie passed away on March 30, Joe reached out to the Assenmacher family to inform them of her passing and express his hopes that Jude would speak at her memorial service in Wilmette (following the burial that took place in Utah).

When Anna asked Jude about speaking, he said yes without hesitation.

Joe also spoke to Jude directly about it. He first came over to inform Jude of Leslie’s passing, as Jude recalls, and invited him to the house for an intimate celebration of Leslie’s life featuring some of her favorite meals.

“The next day, I was riding home from school, and (Joe) was outside,” Jude said. “He mentioned that he really would like me to speak at her funeral. That meant a lot because only her immediate family, her caregiver and I were speaking.”

When Jude asked what he should speak about, Joe offered him guidance: “‘Why don’t you just share what you learned from your experience with Leslie? We’ve all learned a lot about you, but what did you learn?’” Joe said.

Jude wrote a eulogy entirely on his own. He read it aloud at the memorial, flanked by his friends, who had become Leslie’s friends, too.

“I was really happy to be there to honor Leslie, and it was emotional, but the goal of the service wasn’t a funeral per se,” Jude said. “It was more a celebration of her life, and we all gathered there to support the family.”

Leslie Bars

In his eulogy, Jude shared one way he would be honoring Leslie: with Leslie bars.

As part of a class project, Jude and his friend created a snack bar based on their research for natural remedies to support brain health and help combat Alzheimer’s. They made the granola bars from scratch with brain-health superfoods and packaged them by hand with custom stickers.

In this way and others, Jude plans to continue to honor and remember Leslie and, he exclaimed, “of course!” continue to visit Joe, which he has already been doing since her passing.

“I think the way that Jude experienced it is that Leslie was a bit of an angel for him,” Anna Assenmacher said of Jude’s relationship with Leslie and the impact it had. “It was mutual: She came into his life for a reason, and he came into hers for a reason, and that sort of aligns with our belief system.

“(Jude) was sad (about her passing), but also realizes that Leslie brought a lot to his life, too. I think there was just a lot of happiness around that — like appreciation and loving her for what she brought to him just as much as what he brought to her.”

She continued, “So, it felt like more of a friendship and losing a friend and someone that you cared for but understanding that death is not the end, for sure. … Jude (took) an interest in her and the family and wanted to make her happy while she was here.”

For his part, too, it is clear Jude will continue to hold on to the memories and feelings generated by Leslie’s happiness and the joy it brought him.

“She was such a kind soul, and even when she was nonverbal, her energy was just light and it had an impact on us,” he said. “The way she always smiled, that always made us happy.”

Jude’s eulogy for Leslie

“Hi everyone, my name is Jude Assenmacher, and me and my friends, Molly, Clara, Ella, Emma and Quinn, used to visit Leslie a few times a week before her passing. One day, me and my friends decided to walk over to the Hicken house to say hello because we saw Leslie taking a walk, and we wanted to introduce ourselves. Little did we know she would mean so much more to us than we thought.

“I’ve only known her for a few months, and yet it feels like she’s my own grandmother. Leslie is someone who is very special and dear to me. She brought love and laughter to my face every time I would see her, she was always cheery, and never once did I see her without a smile on her face.

“Me and my friends, after school, would be eager to come over and talk with Leslie and Joe, which were always highlights of our day. Watching Annie and eating chocolate chip cookies made by (Leslie’s caregiver) were some of my fondest memories with her. One day, me and my friends decided to surprise Leslie and Joe by decorating her (hospice) bed. We brought jewels, stickers, confetti, and bedazzled it to bring laughter to them.

“Leslie not only made me happy but taught me how to be resilient. Seeing her sitting in her bed, always with a smile, impacted me and showed me that even through dark times, you can always find the light. Leslie meant so much to us that we have dedicated a school project to researching Alzheimer’s to find cures. The project is called Leslie Bars, which are fruit bars that contain natural remedies to combat Alzheimer’s.

“The Hicken family opened their doors to us and only gave us kindness. I wish for Leslie to find wellness and peace and happiness for her family. Thank you.”

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